February 11, 2009

"'Stump the Dog.' Sounds like the easiest TV game show ever."

Lileks tweets — referring, of course, to the Sussex spaniel that won Best in Show at the 133rd Annual Westminster Kennel Club show. A much-needed laugh for me (after doing those 2 death posts in a row).

IN THE COMMENTS: I'm not sure why this fit in the dog post, but there's a lot of talk about what Valentine present a man should get for a woman. It started when Michael H said:
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being 'Punch His Lights Out' and 10 being 'Cut Up His Clothes and Call a Junk Yard Dog Divorce Attorney', how would you rank receiving either of these gifts on Valentines Day?

A). A Vermont Teddy Bear wearing something cute.

B). A Pajama Gram.

Thanks.

AND: The ineffably adorable Psychedelic George says:
I know what women want:

a) Wool socks. Good thick wool socks. Not heavy and ugly, but cute good thick wool socks.

b) On a budget? Flannel. Otherwise—cashmere.

c) Tea. If it sounds disgusting to the male palate, she will love it. Try 'Vanilla Sleepytime."

d) A subscription to 'Oprah.'

e) All things Jane Austen.

f) Wine.

Remember what I said about the socks being cute. And wool.
ADDED: I've corrected the text above to change "Original George" to "Psychedelic George." I'd mixed up 2 of my Georges — just when I was doing my big "ineffably adorable" compliment. I hope his girlfriend doesn't think it was the other George who got her the cute wool socks. Psychedelic George has only been commenting here since February 5th — under that name at least — and he's really stood out as a great commenter. And I mean no disrespect to Original George.

MORE: I'm told Original George = Psychedelic George.

130 comments:

Darcy said...

He was adorable. I'm so happy with the last two winners...it seems like they're getting away from the fufu dogs. Yay!

Now my only wish is for a German Shepherd to win it. They had one a couple of years ago that was just a beauty...it really should have won.

fcai said...

Ol' Stump is getting a lot of local coverage - seems he had his own near death experience a few years ago. Good lookin' dog...

madawaskan said...

Darcy-

it seems like they're getting away from the fufu dogs.

Ya, what the hell was up with that?

The poodle mafia.

paul a'barge said...

Make that 3 death posts in a row ... it turns out that Stump, who lives in Houston, was sick and near death and was taken to Texas A&M where his life was miraculously saved!

For those of you keeping track, that's two dogs from Texas two years in a row at Westminster. First Uno and now Stump.

Me? I really, really liked the Standard Poodle this year but there was a huge amount of momentum behind Stump.

Trooper York said...

"Stump the Dog" can't compare to Art Shamskys pooch: Hump.

Darcy said...

Poodles, those little long-haired things that drag their hair on the ground and look like miniature Cousin Its, fufu terriers...yeah, I was disappointed every year for a while, madawaskan.

Stump is great!

Hee hee, Trooper. :)

traditionalguy said...

A victory for Cocker Spaniels at last. A Traditional breed... not an exotic show-off breed. There is no better live-inside-the-house dog on earth, The Cadillac of Indoor Dogs.

Pogo said...

I can't look.

Does the dog only have 3 legs?
Is it a pirate dog (arrrrrrrrrrff)?

Pogo said...

Stump the Dog also sounds like a character out of Ren and Stimpy.

Happy happy joy joy!

BJM said...

Traditional guy: Sussex Spaniels are not Cockers.

The spaniel was a generic term used to describe a type of dog. When a litter was born the owner/breeder would decide what use a particular dog or pup was to be put to. Much depended on the size and how muscular the dog turned out to be, the stamina he/she displayed, and the intelligence of the dog. What type of game the dog was to hunt was also a factor. The spaniel could possibly be used for hunting the forests, pointing in high brush, flushing birds out of thickets, or used in marshes for retrieving ducks, geese, etc. So to begin with there were no distinct breeds of spaniel, only the generic description of the type of dog.

The Sussex conformation still follows the traditional field spaniel, we have a collection of antique English hunting dogs etchings and the Sussex, Springer, Setter and Pointers are much as they appear today. The American Cocker has been bred to a different conformation than the English.

The English Cocker Spaniel differs from the American Cocker Spaniel in several areas. The head is shaped with a longer muzzle, flatter head and less prominent eyes. The English Cocker Spaniel is slightly taller, heavier and more solid. The English Cocker Spaniel does not have the profusion of tummy coat and leg furnishing found on the American Cocker Spaniel. They are closer to the Sussex conformation standards.

BTW-Cockers got their name from the type of hunting for which they were bred; flushing woodcocks.

As a Springer owner I'm thrilled that another spaniel won, they are wonderful companion dogs.

traditionalguy said...

This breed likes to hunt for birds in the underbrush, so you do have to have a strong leash when walking outside in case a bird lands anywhere closeby.Their only other desire is to affectionately bond with and accompany their master at all times.The Sussex Spaniel has a little bit shorter legs than an American Cocker Spaniel, hence the nickname here.

Buford Gooch said...

Where I grew up, "Stump the dog" would carry a much more crass connotation, where the verb "stump" is used in regard to sheep.

traditionalguy said...

BJM... I missed your comment. Thanks for the extra knowledge. Maybe my cocker came from a more English line, but nobody here could tell us the difference.

fcai said...

If he only had 3 legs, one eye, was fixed, had lost his tail, had both ears shorn off, he would respond to the name "Lucky".

Sorry, old joke, but like others, I found the name Stump offputting.

In Oregon, shepherds use their boots rather than stumps.

Matt Eckert said...

If he only had 3 legs, one eye, was fixed, had lost his tail, had both ears shorn off, and spent all his time licking Barack Obama's balls he would respond to the name "Luckyoldson".

Psychedelic George said...

City feller gets lost in the country. Goes to farmhouse to ask directions.

Sees a pig with a peg leg hobbling around.

"What happened to that pig?" asks the city man.

"Pig saved my family's lives," the farmer replies. "We were sleeping. House was on fire. Pig burst in and woke us up."

"But why's the pig have a wooden leg?"

"Well," says the farmer, "that pig's too good to eat all at once."

Bissage said...

HEADLINES NOT ON TEH INTERTUBES (#24): "Nothing Succeeds Like Sussex Spaniel."

Boooooooooooooo!

Trooper York said...

I don't know much about dog breeds but is the Irish Cocker Spaniel the smallest of all the cockers.

traditionalguy said...

Trooper... The Irish Cocker is only known for the amount of Guiness Stout it can drink before it attacks ever other dog in the Pub. Michael Vick thought they were too dangerous.

Trooper York said...

I heard that Bibi Netanyahu was so happy about how he did in the election that he got his kids an alter-cocker spaniel.

Palladian said...

Spaniels in any form are not acceptable.

I'm not interested in Westminster until a Boston Terrier wins.

Darcy said...

Aww, Palladian. I would be happy with a Boston Terrier, too.

If I recall correctly, the terrier that beat my lovely shepherd fave a couple of years ago was a Kerry Blue Terrier. Not my cup of tea at all.

Stump is adorable. In fact, he may be a little homely...in an adorable way, of course.

Palladian said...

Oh look, here are the 2009 Clumber Spaniels!

Michael H said...

Stump The Dog was on Fox and Friends this morning. He seemed to be smarter than Brian Kilmeade.

Joe Cocker is British. Do you suppose he flushes birds?

Palladian said...

"Aww, Palladian. I would be happy with a Boston Terrier, too.

If I recall correctly, the terrier that beat my lovely shepherd fave a couple of years ago was a Kerry Blue Terrier. Not my cup of tea at all."

I don't really like terriers either. The secret is that the Boston Terrier isn't actually a terrier. Westminster hasn't posted the results from the "Non-Sporting Group" which includes the Bostons. Interestingly a Boston Terrier has never won Best in Show. One of truly American breeds has never won, yet 4 Standard Poodles and 3 Miniature Poodles have won the title. What kind of communist French faggots are judging this little dog and puppy show?

traditionalguy said...

Palladian... Did you mean to say the Boston Terrorists? They all died in the World Trade Center field trials. They had done well in obedience school, but they never got thru Jump School at Benning.

HelenParr said...

So cocker spaniels flush woodcocks.

Do clumber spaniels flush clumps? Or loaves?

Palladian said...

Oh no! A Clumber Spaniel won Best In Show in 1996!! Gross!

Trooper York said...

A Joe Cocker Spaniel shakes and drools and acts like a retard. But he does keep his hat on while running around the show.

paul a'barge said...

Interestingly a Boston Terrier has never won Best in Show.

A Golden Retriever has never won.

A Labrador Retriever has never won.

just sayin'

Michael H said...

If Sara Jessica Parker owned a beagle, could they participate in fox hunts?

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Yes a Clumber won best in show. Both of my rare expensive clumbers were related to the best in show winner of 1996.

Aren't they beautiful? Love them to death.

Trooper York said...

"If Sara Jessica Parker owned a beagle, could they participate in fox hunts?"

Only if someone was riding that horse faced twat.

Michael H said...

Bada Bing!

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

I love Sarah Jessica Parker. She is absolutely beautiful. And what a body

Trooper York said...

And the face of Seattle Slew.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

A Sussex Spaniel was my second choice in a dog. I liked the rare clumbers white coat better though.

I love all dogs though. Much better than people. I don't care for people much.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Personally, I think SJP's face is beautiful. I love Susan Sarandan too.

Michael H said...

Since it's a slow day, I'm going to ask the women in the bloggerhood a question about Valentines Day gifts.

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being 'Punch His Lights Out' and 10 being 'Cut Up His Clothes and Call a Junk Yard Dog Divorce Attorney', how would you rank receiving either of these gifts on Valentines Day?

A). A Vermont Teddy Bear wearing something cute.

B). A Pajama Gram.

Thanks.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Those are awful possible presents Michael H.

Go for flowers, a nice dinner, and some bling-a gold and diamond combo.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

A diamond necklace with the first letter of her first name would be nice. Go to Cartier and pick it up.

Also, you can never go wrong with Lacroix or Channel-

Michael H said...

Titus - I'm not going to give either gift. I am both weary of and amused by the commercials for both items, and want to know whether they are gifts that appeal to women.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Give her one of those Snuggie Blankets.

Now that's an amusing commercial.

Michael H said...

The Snuggie Blanket commercials make me think of bare-assed monks.

traditionalguy said...

Michael...It's a quandry for sure giving a valentine gift. You start with a romantic card.. got that.. not a humorous card. Then flowers( Roses if available ) and finish her off with any love token like you have listed. Just stay away from kitchen appliances or anything electric or mechanical. Most important is to enjoy her company and let her talk to you about her dreams and whatever she needs to say to you. The victoria's secret stuff wont be required if you do the others.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

My dad gave my mom a weed wacker one year for Valentine's Day. She was pissed. How difficult is it for guys to pick an appropriate gift? Get with it straighties.

I got yelled at today from the Animal Police Officer-twice. Once because I was in a park where dogs aren't supposed to be but always are and the second time because they were off leash. She was a big mean dyke who enjoyed wearing her Animal Police Uniform. I wanted to say fuck you you big dyke.

She drove off after my first bitching out and 5 minutes later she comes back and bitches at me again as I am on my way home. She actually hid behind a tree. How pathetic.

madawaskan said...

OK here's two things I'm pretty sure of-if it's got Channel written all over it-you probably shouldn't buy it.

That, and don't give her peanuts.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

My rare clumbers are so well behaved they don't even need a leash when we walk. They literally follow me. They won't step off the curb unless I do.

Hey, where is the posting about the stiumulus passing? I am pissed and I need to vent.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Also they pinch their loaves on command-seriously. I say go potty and they squat.

Michael H said...

My dad gave my mom a weed wacker one year for Valentine's Day. She was pissed.

What was your dad thinking? Valentines Day is for cordless electric tools, not gasoline tools!

Palladian said...

"I love all dogs though. Much better than people. I don't care for people much."

And vice-versa.

"I got yelled at today from the Animal Police Officer-twice. Once because I was in a park where dogs aren't supposed to be but always are and the second time because they were off leash."

Who lets their "rare" and "expensive" dogs, especially medium-large size dogs, run around a New York City park off of their leashes? She probably yelled at you because your ugly dogs were scaring the children.

Hmmm... which park were you in? I can't think of any parks where a conscientious dog owner would let their dog off the leash, except for maybe Central Park and I doubt you were up there.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Also my dogs are male but they squat when peeing. They don't lift their legs. And when peeing and pooping they look at me. Isn't that cute?

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

I am not telling where I was Palladian. It is my secret garden. If I tell you you will come hunt me down.

The only bad thing about the rare clumbers is that their coat gets really long around their butt and sometimes when pooping the poop gets caught in the hair and I have to dig it out.

I haven't had sex in three weeks. I read in the daily beast that people are not having as much sex because of the economy. This has to be the worst possible outcome of the economic collapse. People with no jobs and out of their houses pale in comparison to people not having sex. Absolutely Devastating. I am devastated I tell you.

Palladian said...

"I haven't had sex in three weeks. I read in the daily beast that people are not having as much sex because of the economy. This has to be the worst possible outcome of the economic collapse. People with no jobs and out of their houses pale in comparison to people not having sex."

Haha. Sorry your well is drying up. Back here in reality people fuck more when things get bad and desperate and scary. Maybe it's not the economy that's causing your sexual problems. Maybe it's because people are finding you bad, desperate and scary.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Actually Palladian I just haven't trie. No interest right now. I haven't been out there slinging my pussy.

I haven't even been jerking off that much. Although, I never jerk off very much. Once a week at the most. I would say once every 10 days on average.

Why don't you cum over here and jerk me off? I will splew on your hair if you want?

BJM said...

Michael H:

a.) 5 - lazy and cheap
b.) 6 - lazy, cheap and horny

A degree of horniness is good, but not if the gift is seen as a low-effort sexual quid pro quo.

If you're going to buy lingerie for Pete's sake skip the Victoria Secret tat and spring for the handmade luxe of LaPerla or Janet Reger.

You really cannot go wrong with two dozen long stem red roses delivered by the very best florist in town, not 1800flowers, a yellow pages FTD shop or roadside/supermarket blooms. This may give you sticker shock coz they stick it to you on St. Val's Day for sure.

A beribboned box of the very best imported chocolates is also acceptable, the point being it should be something ultra luxurious that we would not buy or indulge in ourselves.

Oh don't forget a greeting card the ones you have to go to the Hallmark shop and look like a dork to buy, we love 'em. Big demerits for supermarket cards and flowers.

Most of us hate cheesy dial-gifts...of course one size does not fit all and a stuffed bear may be just the thing for your sweetie.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

You can use it like hair gel like Mary did in the movie...Mary.

That way your hair won't be all disheveled on the walk of shame home, Mary.

Darcy said...

What kind of communist French faggots are judging this little dog and puppy show?

LOL. And yeah, the Boston Terrier looks nothing like the terrier grouop. There are a couple of other nice looking terriers, but those never win, either.

Michael H: I really dislike both commercials, too! I'm a bad person to ask...I'd want a sports t-shirt and someone to cook me a nice dinner.

Pogo said...

Was Stomp, the musical, also a dog?

Kirby Olson said...

All breeds of dog can still mate with wolves, which means that underneath all the charm and personality, is a wolf. N'est-ce paw?

Palladian said...

"Why don't you cum over here and jerk me off? I will splew on your hair if you want?"

I don't have any hair. And even if I did, I don't like bio-hazardous fluids anywhere near my person. So I'll pass.

"Was Stomp, the musical, also a dog?"

Yes!

AllenS said...

If you bred an Alaskan Malamute with a shark, would you have a deaf Sarah Baracuda Palin? Just askin.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Are you bald or is your head shaved? How big is your hog?

Pogo said...

Shemp, the Stooge, was uglier than a dog.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

What are you wearing? Want to to computer sex on this blog comment section right now?

I just took my pants off.

Pogo said...

"Stomp the Dog" also sounds like the easiest TV game show ever.

If the dog is small enough.




I am very very ashamed of myself.

Pogo said...

I just took my pants off.

Oh, big deal. I never wear pants, but I don't go around bragging about it.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Jesse Jackson Jr. is on Cspan now. I want to do him.

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

I just got out the Asroglide from my fabulous, modern, expensive L'Amoire. Does that make you horny.

BJM said...

Oh...should warn Naughty Janet web pages are NSFW!

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

My hog is gettin a little puffy as it rests on my left leg. Balls hanging low. Left a little lower than right. I am just kind of watching it grow right now. It's pretty hot. A little pre-cum on it.

Darcy said...

I never wear pants, but I don't go around bragging about it.

And you don't have to. Hee.

Which reminds me...where is that Men of Althouse calendar?

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Have Pogo and Darcy done it? I thought Darcy was a dyke? Not there is anyhing wrong with that. I hate the sin but don't hate the sinner.

Darcy said...

Oh, hi, Titus!

David said...

Lassie, for $400, name the main protein contained in the southeast Asian dish called "bosintang."

TitusLetTheSunshineIn said...

Hi Darcy, how they hanging? Got any nudie pics? Want to talk dirty? Remember no pic no dick.

Darcy said...

Titus, please don't do that. I was kidding Pogo, and I'm not interested in talking about any of that.

I'm interested in talking about the Westminster Kennel Club show.

EDH said...

Speaking of Dogs and Valentine gift ads...

Dr. Helen criticized this Beware of the Dog House ad.

On the whole, I think it's rather funny. (Listen carefully to the Orwellian indoctrination in the background.)

Rather than infantilize and subjugate men, however, I think the ad is just trying legitimize buying jewelry at JC Penny.

As for those ubiquitous Vermont TB and Pajamagram ads, same thing. They seem targeted at simpletons who will think "oh, that's what I need to captivate one of those alien female creatures." Notice the hokey shit the PJ-gram comes with, and the availability of "all that spa stuff women like."

UWS guy said...

I wonder to myself sometimes. Is lileks poster to your comment section...perhaps one of your more careful and inventive posters lo these many years.

I'm a fan of his blogging.

Ralph said...

In the early 80's, my parents' bank was giving away stuffed bears if you opened an account (left over from the boycotted Moscow Olympics?). My mother went to roll over a CD, but they wouldn't give her a bear, so she said, rather loudly in the crowded bank, "Ten thousand dollars and I don't get a bear?"
They gave her two.

fcai said...

Lileks does not post here - first, this is Wisconson-centric, he ia a Minnesota type, and few people here post with as many typos as one sees on his site. Don't get me wrong, I like his writing, a lot, but he needs a proofreader and someone to fix all the dead links on his site. Not a well made blog.

BJM said...

Darcy, what did you think of the smooth coated Griffon?

I'm not a fan of ear clipping and prefer a natural ear so that always influences my choice.

fcai: I preferred Lileks former static format, the blog doesn't seem to suit his narrative style as much as his long daily posts did.

Darcy said...

I agree with you on the natural ear, BJM, but the smooth coated Griffon is a beautiful dog.

I guess with the terriers, I'm just not a fan of anything that looks like an Airdale. My brother has a Wheaten terrier, and I think she's awfully cute.

Did you see the Afghan hound? I can't believe anyone thinks that "goatee" it had was good looking. Well, the dog is sort of homely all around, but that was just ugly.

Palladian said...

I like the "snoutless" varieties of dogs: Boston Terriers, Bulldogs, French Bulldogs (look at the name of the 2009 best French Bulldog- Midnight Confessions?! Sounds like a romance novel).

Ralph said...

No one said it?
Stump Dog: Millionaire.
Replacing Phelps on the Wheaties box.

Darcy said...

Brilliant, Ralph! :)

Do you like pugs too, Palladian? I think they're cute.

glam1931 said...

Stump's actual name is Champion Clussexx Three D Grinchy Glee. Typically, show dogs are given a "call name" that is some form of their registration name, but there's not much you can come up with from that one, so Stump it is! I was rooting for him simply because he was so old, yet in such amazing shape.
My Mom is a top breeder of toy poodles, and she wasn't impressed with the standard poodle that made the final round this year...he kept pulling his head back unnaturally, and his front legs seemed unusually thin. Remember, a dog wins by most closely matching (in the judges' opinion) a written physical standard for the breed held by the AKC. The standard is identical for Standard, Miniature and Toy Poodles...the only difference is size.

Ralph said...

My sister used to have a cat named Stump. Half of his tail had fallen off right after he arrived.

Pogo said...

I am woefully undereducated about dogs. I appreciate a good loyal mutt to pet and feed and chase you around and slobber on your pants (assuming you wear them).

I'm embarassed about that ignorance, to an extent. The movie Best in Show helped me grasp it a bit more.

Perhaps being one of 13 kids made me see pets as competition for food. yeah, that must be it.

Palladian said...

Yeah, I like pugs quite a bit too, though having been around a pug who had a problem with his "anal sacs" needing frequent "expression", I can't say I'd ever want one. I like their old-fashioned name: mops.

Palladian said...

BTW, all the linked breed names in my previous several comments are to the 2009 "Best in Breed" winners at Westminster.

madawaskan said...

Perhaps being one of 13 kids made me see pets as competition for food. yeah, that must be it.

So you're Irish and know what it's like to fight for the hambone...

Darcy said...

Those were beautiful dogs pictured in those links, Palladian. And funny about the "expressions"! I had a friend with two pugs, and her kids would each grab one and hold them under their arms backwards and...oh, I'm not sure I want to finish this story. :)

XWL said...

Maybe I need to read Althouse comments less . . .

While watching the USA v MEX qualifier on ESPN2 just now, one of the commentators said, "We were blown in the stadium".

I immediately thought of Titus, sounds like something he would say, but would he want to be blown by someone there cheering for USA or Mexico?

Enquiring minds want to know.

(and the commentator was referring to the 25+ mph wind gusts, not oral copulation)

As far as Stump goes, nobody here's commented on his age yet. At 10 years, he's the oldest Best in Show in Westminster history, that's pretty notable (and he won his group back in 2004, so he's previously had success at that show).

Jennifer said...

I'd love to see a little tuxedo clad guy win it all. I've never been a fan of bulldogs or other little squashfaces, but this little guy officially changed my mind.

P.S. Any woman who buys in to the lameness of Valentine's Day deserves whatever crap present she gets.

Michael H said...

We've always had used dogs. Golden retrievers, labs, shepherd mixes, etc. We look for ads posted by people who can't keep their dogs due to allergies, kids, landlord, moving, etc., and adopt those dogs so they don't wind up at the pound.

They sometimes arrive with medical needs, but by and large, they have been wonderful pets.

I believe some could understand English, but just wouldn't speak it in order to frustrate me.

Michael H said...

Re: Valentines' Day gifts, I apologize for the hijack. I was reading a note from one of my nieces, single, who has renamed Valentines Day S.A.D., for Singles Awareness Day, and the question about whether any woman would want those cheesy gifts popped out.

Ralph said...

I hate squashfaces on dogs or cats or people.
Give me long, beautiful Honker!
Gleaming, flaxen, waxen.

Ralph said...

Michael H, you miss that New Dog Smell, but you do save on depreciation.

traditionalguy said...

Good grief Michael, if it's only your neice, just get her some Gift box of Wisconsin Cheeses. If that's not cheesey enough a gift, then get her a Gift Card to the new Sonic Drive-in, and directions to see the new Zen Roofed tourist attraction in The Elegant Section of Madison. But tell her watch out for a blonde lady with a fish eye camera, or she too will become famous.

Chip Ahoy said...

Is Valentine's Day a strictly one way deal, all gifts go from male to female and it's up to the male to determine with precision what pleases the female, the more expensive and indulgent the better? Wut up widat?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I told my husband don't you dare give me a stupid teddy bear and I have plenty of pajamas.

I have antique and collectible jewelry and the new stuff that would really want is too expensive. Don't give me flowers either. They are such a waste of money. Usually they don't last long and begin wilting the minute you receive them. A live plant for my office is a nice idea. Functional and will last.

Candy?.... maybe. See's candy, Divinity Puffs .... yum.

Best Valentines ideas, for cranky me? A card with a heartfelt handwritten note. Make a special dinner or surprise me with a dinner out at a great restaurant that makes something I wouldn't normally cook for myself.

Valentines day is such a crock. Really, who needs a designated day to say I love you and appreciate you. That's something you should do every day.

As to the dog. Don't know the name of the breed, but I really like that little pug dog that was an alien in Men in Black. Little dog with a BIG attitude. SO cute.

Darcy said...

I don't think so, Chip Ahoy. I think if you are celebrating the day, gifts should go both ways.

Psychedelic George said...

I know what women want:

a) Wool socks. Good thick wool socks. Not heavy and ugly, but cute good thick wool socks.

b) On a budget? Flannel. Otherwise—cashmere.

c) Tea. If it sounds disgusting to the male palate, she will love it. Try 'Vanilla Sleepytime."

d) A subscription to 'Oprah.'

e) All things Jane Austen.

f) Wine.

Remember what I said about the socks being cute. And wool.

fcai said...

Other day woman says she wants chocolate. I got her chocolate. It's easy to be a hero.

Trooper York said...

I wouldn't touch Sarah Jessica Parker with Robbie Alomar's cocker spaniel.

Michael H said...

Chip - It's for sure a one way deal. Attempts at reversing the polarity can result in cataclysmic celibacy.

Michael H said...

Psych George - No, we mean hetero women.

Ralph said...

They are such a waste of money
That's the point: "I've got money to burn! Screw me!"

Jennifer said...

Agreed, DBQ. If you're romancing me just because the calendar or some commercial told you do it, it's complete bullshit. It means absolutely nothing. Why bother?

Besides, I refuse to be roped in to accepting romance on an annual basis.

Guys all think Valentine's Day is a big con on them but it's the exact opposite. Hallmark and FTD have managed to con women into a.) believing it's normal to have to wait a year for a loving gesture and b.) accepting compulsory bullshit gestures as the real deal. Valentine's Day cons us all!

former law student said...

Pug Owners Beware:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dog_breeders_issue_massive_recall

Make sure to view the slide show.

Re V-Day:

If you're in an LTR, never buy overpriced Valentine's roses. Wait a day and get them for 1/4 the price.

Rather than going out for forced cheer with all the other schmucks, cook for your sweetie. Rack of lamb works around here.

The gift appreciated by every woman I know: some body lotion in her favorite scent.

Michael H said...

Well, to tie a ribbon on it, wouldn't a Sussex Spaniel be a nice Valentines Day gift?

traditionalguy said...

I suppose valentines day is now overdone here. So what do us guys get our main squeeze for Mardi Gras? all of what she is planning to give up for 40 days, I suppose. We can only hope that's not us due to her bad experience with our Valentine's gift.I have to say that Wool Socks is a new one on me. Was that a joke?

Psychedelic George said...

MIchael H.--

No man can compete with Mr. Darcy and Earl Grey.

Darcy said...

No man can compete with Mr. Darcy and Earl Grey.

Very good, Psych George!

And I loved the cute wool socks idea. Actually, the whole list was great.

Michael H said...

P George - You are correct.

Michael H said...

Isn't this a nice neighborhood when we natter about things non-political?

I suppose it'll be back to the same old same old Thursday.

Thanks for your company.

Psychedelic George said...

You're very welcome, Michael.

Incidentially, has the Professor paid you recently?

I've been submitting my invoices. I've written. Tried calling, but she's always in "a meeting."

BJM said...

Blogger Michael H said...

Chip - It's for sure a one way deal. Attempts at reversing the polarity can result in cataclysmic celibacy.


Noooo, St. Val's Day should be reciprocal, where is it written that the day's tokens of love are only passed to be from one partner to the other. Love needs to be tended and encouraged, especially with our busy schedules and distractions.

Sorry, but I don't get the attitude ladies, why not make it a night of mutual pleasure?

My guy will find waiting; freshed cracked Dungeness crab and Cristal on ice, a scented jacuzzi, red satin sheets and a stack of special IOU's handwritten on heart-shaped pink cards, sealed with a red lip print and tied with ribbon to be redeemed at will.

One day when a fav dinner or favor is wanted an IOU will be presented and honored, no matter my schedule, mood or inclination. He hit me with one that was over twenty-five years old recently, it made my day, really.

He will not be late or begrudging, I assure you and this will be our 44th Valentine's Day.

Michael H said...

It's a two way deal at Casa H; always has been.

What I don't see are ads for Craftsman Toolagram, or WaxYourCara Gram. The ads lead to the conclusion that men are such utter dolts that they need annual reminders, while women never ever need a reminder. Not true in either case.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

That's the point: "I've got money to burn! Screw me!"

Lol. Maybe so.

For my sweet man.... Valentine's gifts would be...favorite dinner. (hmmm ..a food theme) or give him something related to his hobbies. Anything mechanical or tool related, hot rod car stuff, depression glass for his collection ...yes a Renaissance kind of guy.

Or just screw his brains out. :-)

Maybe all of the above.

Bissage said...

Regarding “ADDED,” I was sure that Psychedelic George and Original George drew from the same well as a few other Georges in the past, all of whom I was quite fond.

I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of this charade.

Who wants to be a fool?

* despairs *

Psychedelic George said...

I was "George."

Then someone posted as "george."

Fearing reader confusion, I became "Original George."

I then saw "Original Tom, Dick and Harry."

Feeling crowded, I went west.

Ann Althouse said...

oh. unnecessary update now requiring another update....

Trooper York said...

It looks like everyone is curious George.

Michael H said...

So I'm not ineffably adorable? What am I, chopped liver?

HelenParr said...

Michael H: Pate`!

chickenlittle said...

Why not adjectify him as "gorgeous" george

st said...

Give a subscription to Oprah, and you'll get smacked upside the head!
.

BJM said...

Here you go guys.